Instructions on How to be a Princess

A few months ago, I shamelessly revealed my not-so-minor obsession with the Royal Wedding.  I'll admit, it even gave me great comfort, if not overwhelming joy, to realize I was not alone in my brief love affair with the British Monarchy.

As time passed though, my colleagues put away their plastic crowns and tossed out their sashes. I, however, hang mine proudly in my cubicle as a reminder that I'm a Princess Too. Since then, as I've endeavored to live out that truth every day, I've found myself engaged in fascinating conversations with a special co-worker about the importance of sharing that with other women. She challenged me to write down instructions for those Princesses-in-Training who desperately need a road map to realize their true Royalty. So here goes, take notes.

Instructions on How to be a Princess

1. Say it. The first step to believing it is saying it out loud. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, I am Royalty – I must act accordingly and deserve to be treated as such.

2. Get dressed. Don’t settle for frumpy and unflattering when you can “play the role” for the day by dressing up. Let your outfit reflect your personality and a cheerful heart. Be whatever character you want to be that day and put yourself together. When you look good, you feel good.

3. Chin up. Just like you learned in ballet class – walk with your shoulders down and back, your chin up and your stomach held in. You’ll look and feel more confident and be toning your abs and back muscles at the same time – win win!

4. Smile. They say just the simple act of smiling releases endorphins in your brain that course through your system and elevate your mood. Happiness and smiles are contagious too, so spread them to others.

5. Take joy in the life and happiness of others. We so often feel compelled to share our own stories, dramas and accomplishments; making the conscious decision to listen to the stories of others and take sincere interest and joy in them, will strengthen the bond between you and another person and give you the same satisfaction that comes from helping out with a charity or reading a book with a child.

6. Be kind and gracious. Please and thank you’s are more important than we often care to remember. The simple act of opening the door for someone who has their arms full or thanking the bus-boy who clears your plates at the end of a meal can make or break someone’s day. And make eye contact while you do it. Human connection is the key to a fruitful life while we’re on this earth and so many people just float through their existence feeling ignored, unwelcome, or unimportant. Your simple actions can make someone feel noticed and relevant and you’ll be feeding your heart at the same time.

7. Use your words to encourage others. There is nothing more gratifying than making someone else feel good about herself. Compliment your neighbour on her outfit; tell your co-worker she really knocked it out of the park on her presentation; when someone impresses you, let them know.

8. Count your blessings - literally. We have become a culture of complainers. We want what she has; we’re bored with this and want that now. Taking the time to make a numbered list of the blessings in your life will floor you and make it nearly impossible for you to justify complaining. Count everything from the breath you breathe, to the shoes on your feet, to the loved ones around you. Name the roof over your head, the food on your table and the sight to see a clear blue sky or sunset. And when you can’t possibly add another item to the list, give thanks with wild and reckless abandon.

9. Give. Give of your time, of your energy, of your money, of your love and of your talents – and do it selflessly. You have no idea the blessing you can be in the life of another, whether it be your spouse or a complete stranger, from giving any of these.

10. Regard yourself the way you want others to. We can’t expect the people in our lives, or in the world at large, to respect us and treat us like the Royalty we are, if we don’t even treat ourselves as such. Stop with the self-deprecating, disparaging remarks about how you look, how much you weigh, what you make, or where you live. These are called “heart attacks” and you are launching them upon yourself – each one takes a stab at your heart until the valves close completely, shutting you off from a life-sustaining supply of love. Just like eating a healthy diet and exercising will make your heart strong, so too will the exercise of recognizing the beauty that can resonate from within you, if only you would let it.

I'm a Princess Too

I admit it -- two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a severe case of Royal Wedding Fever.

Symptoms are said to include:
- Purchasing $100 of Princess paraphernalia for an impromptu early morning office party,
- Drinking mimosas with co-workers in the conference room while awaiting the balcony kiss,
- And waking up at 4:30AM to ensure a front row seat in front of the TV on your treadmill.
- In the most extreme patients, specialists have also witnessed waking up your husband with shrieks of excitement for him to come watch as the bride emerged for the first time.

Treatment can take weeks, or as long as the next news cycle, to take effect.

If you're reading this and have also contracted this horrific condition, please know, you're not alone. If you are a loved one of a survivor, stay strong for them. And finally, if you're my husband, I'm sorry {but not that sorry} for ripping you out of bed like that. You're a sport!

In all seriousness though, it was such a thrill to watch the wedding of Catherine Middleton and Prince William. If you know me, it doesn't take much to realize that the combination of a wedding and real life royalty is right up my alley!

What I couldn't quite understand however, amidst the Royal Wedding hullabaloo, was why our wedding, 6 months earlier, hadn't received the same degree of press coverage. After all, don't they know who I am?!?! Perhaps, I thought, it was the lack of festive headware present at our nuptials. Then I got to thinking....

I was reading a recent devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries {if you're not signed up to receive their daily devotional, I strongly suggest you do!} about the many hats that we, as women, wear on a daily basis. The author astutely observed that oftentimes, as Jesus girls, we tend to wear our crown atop a very high and unstable stack of other hats. She concluded by urging us, each day, to wake up and don our crown, as the daughter of the King, as our very first hat upon which we can then build a stable, multi-faceted collection of hats.

That's when it hit me!

I was finally able to pinpoint the nagging feeling of, dare I say, jealousy, that I felt while watching the Royal Wedding proceedings. It was, undoubtedly, the feeling that no matter how often my husband assures me that I'm his Princess {thank you sweetie!}, I would never really be called a Princess...legally (unless I worked at one of these companies). But, as daughter of the Most High King, I am exactly that - a Princess! You can imagine my excitement at the realization.

Because I am saved by God's grace, I too can wear a crown of victory and share in His glory! What an utterly awe-inspiring, life changing truth. Can I get an Amen!

But, in the words of Peter Parker's grandfather, "with great power comes great responsibility". Just as Princess Catherine will now take on the responsibilities of being a newly minted member of the Royal Family, when we put on that crown as one of God's daughters, we're accepting the responsibilities and promising to live our lives as stewards of what it means to be part of His family. What an awesome (and weighty) call!

So although the paparazzi and onlookers the world over were not waiting, with bated breath, for my gown to be revealed (it was a head-turning gorgeous Vera Wang Luxe by the way), and although I only received one new name upon marrying hubs (as opposed to several, i.e. Her Royal Highness Princess William Arthur Philip Louis, Duchess of Cambridge, Countess of Strathearn, Baroness Carrickfergus) ours was, nevertheless, a Royal Wedding -- the joining in Holy Matrimony of two of the King of Kings' prized children, "heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ". And that, dear friends, is worth celebrating each and every day!

Brave Enough to Follow Their Dreams...

Happy Friday All!
I hope your work week flew by and you are as excited for this weekend as I am.

Today, I want to share with you a tribute to four of my closest friends. These girls have seen me through it all; good times and bad, new beginnings and graduations, boyfriends and break ups they’ve been there, at my side.

We couldn’t be more different; in fact, some of them aren’t even really friends with each other. But, when I take the time to consider it, they are four of the most impressive women I know, and four of the bravest.

Last night I realized, these four girls are inspiring – they know exactly what they want, they’ve gone after it, and, they’ve succeeded. How many recent college graduates can actually say that going into their second year as “real people”, they are doing exactly what they wanted to do? Not many – and I know four of them.

One was accepted to graduate school at Oxford University (yes, the one in England). Another is rising rapidly through the ranks of an event planning firm that has her running events and working with power house pharmaceutical corporations all over the country. Still another was recently shipped to LA to run her PR firm’s satellite office – run, as in, she’s in charge. And finally, one is working as a legislative correspondent to a United States Congressman in Washington, DC. {I know, my friends are badasses, I’m well aware}.

I’ve never before felt such overwhelming happiness for someone else (let alone four someone elses). Their jobs have taken them all over the country and the world and about as far away from New York (and me) as you can get (sad face) and still I feel nothing but joy for their successes.

I am blessed to have these women in my life. I know that no matter how far they travel, no matter how high on the ladder they climb, they’ll always be there for me, and share in the same happiness over my successes.

So ladies, please know how proud I am to know you, to call you my best friends. Thank you for having the courage to follow your dreams and congratulations on all that you have already accomplished.

All My Love,

Jaclyn

Girls Gone....Mild

My little girls are growing up...

Last weekend was Beach Weekend '09 - The Reunion. Every year, five girlfriends who have been close since elementary school get together for a weekend of GCF (good-clean-fun) and, up until recently, boy-bashing (also known as “man-hating”).

As always, this year’s Beach Weekend was a success! But, amidst the quiet reflection that inevitably comes from comparing last year’s Facebook photos to this year’s (and the untagging that ensues), I couldn’t help but notice that something was different. We’d changed, and it wasn’t just a few pounds here or there, a new hair style (or color), or an increasingly developed fashion sense – we, for the first time, (vaguely) resembled adults.

{We also, unlike in years past, were all spoken for by seemingly appropriate male suitors. Good job ladies!}

Rather than taking to the streets (read “bars”) of Belmar, NJ for two nights straight, we opted for a calmer route: Cocktails out back by the dunes and genuinely taking time to catch up, and (get this) L I S T E N to the goings on of our friends’ lives. It was wonderful!

I found myself staring, in disbelief, at a group of young women whom I’d seen go through the ups and downs of life. We’ve laughed with each other, cried with each other, and been at each others’ sides when %#@! has hit the fan. We’ve each had front row seats to the dramas of each others’ lives since before I can remember and here we were, employed, paying bills, and planning our futures, all the while giggling as we always have.

As we made our way up from the Jersey Shore and the reality of the impending Monday morning commute settled in, I was left with an overwhelming feeling. Sleep deprivation aside, I was focused on how rare and special a thing it is that we share: A friendship that has withstood the tests of time, and I reckon, will continue to do so. The five of us could not be more different, and yet, rather than drift apart and succumb to the pressures of life that often tear at childhood friendships, we have stayed strong and connected to one another. We may not speak on a daily basis, but when we do, it’s as if not a moment has passed since last we caught up.

Later that night, as I settled in to recount the weekend's events to the ManBoy, I realized too that I was in a completely different place from just one year ago. Here I was, sitting across from the ManBoy I love, and with whom I am thrilled to be planning a life, speaking about my friends whom I’ve known since preschool. He listened, politely intrigued, as I described what had taken place. He couldn’t have felt more removed or out of context, but I sensed that, as I spoke, (unaware of whether he was listening or tuning me out) he learned things about my past that I hadn’t even thought to share with him.

Many of these girls he’s not yet met, (something that is about to change as the girls have planned a “meet and greet” happy hour with our significant others for next week) but, they have been witnesses to my life long before I even knew he existed. I can say, with absolute certainty, when I look back over my 23 years, that I have been in a state of constant evolution. And, while that transformation, I hope, has not yet come to an end, I am in a content and happy place, the likes of which I’ve never seen in my past. It’s a comfort to know though, regardless of what’s changed, that there are a select few who have been there for the whole ride. They have a unique perspective on my life and constantly remind me of how far I’ve come.

So ladies, I thank you. I love you all for who you were and who you’ve become. I love you for your uniqueness and your understanding. I love you for always being up for cocktails and a good laugh. But, most of all, I love you for your friendship.