"Advent is a season of waiting. A season of anticipation. And a season of preparation."
I sat in church allowing that Truth to spill over me.
I am sure many of you, like me, have sat in sermons comparing the biblical importance of Advent to the hustle-and-bustle that undoubtedly precedes Christmas in our culture. Most years I peacefully embrace this period of lying in wait for the arrival of the Christ Child. This year, I am struck with an altogether different approach to the season.
This year, to regard this time as a period of waiting, of anticipation, of preparation, feels in some way, passive, even frustrating. During that sermon, it struck me that the sense of disequilibrium I have been experiencing recently is a symptom of passive, frustrated waiting that is permeating my life.
Let me pause here for a moment. I am no less thankful than I was only a few short weeks ago, and certainly no less blessed, but recently I have been feeling a little less...balanced. Some may even say I am in a rut.
A great deal of excitement has flooded my family recently. We continue to anticipate the arrival of two new little ones in April -- one girl and one boy. We received the joyous news that my sister was accepted to the Class of 2016 at Duke University. And my adoring husband received an acceptance letter of his own --he begins Business School in the spring.
It's all big news. It's all happy news.
Amidst the excitement however, it has become abundantly clear that much of this news is happening around me, to my loved ones. And while I am inextricably linked to and affected by all of it, I am not the one reporting anything new or exciting. For some reason, this feels like an uncomfortable first for me.
Please do not misunderstand: I am overjoyed for my family.
I just somehow feel outside of the excitement.
I tend to need to look forward to things. Excitement and anticipation drive me. Those of you who know me well, can attest to this characteristic. Sometimes this driving need inspires radically selfless behavior, born out of my sheer disbelief at how truly blessed I am. Other times, it brings out ugly self indulgence.
The status quo is something that seems helpless, even desperate right now -- even if my status quo is almost laughably without flaw. I am eager to take on my next challenge, a new chapter. I want to dive into a new project, and catch a glimpse of my future.
As I sat in church considering the pastor's words about Advent, I knew in my heart that this was one of God's teaching moments. You know the kind...when God gently nudges your heart to hear a message with new ears, to reconsider the state of your life, to listen to His commands, and to obey.
So I have made a decision: Instead of passively waiting, I choose to actively wait, anticipate and prepare for what God has in store for me. I know He has a good and perfect plan for me. I know He is teaching me something in this season of status quo and I know He is shaping my heart for the next chapter.
It's the time of year when we start considering New Year's Resolutions. I think mine will be to rejoice in the status quo and obediently wait, anticipate and prepare to see God's story for me unfold.
I pray you will join me in this endeavour in these final days leading up to Christmas.
