Right Where I'm Supposed to Be

 

"I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure."  

I'll be honest, I've never seen Chariots of Fire (I know, you don't have to ridicule me, others have already taken care of that), but when I heard this quote during a sermon a few weeks ago, it took root in my soul somewhere. I decided that day, I wanted to live my life in the midst and presence of God's will - I want to feel His pleasure.

In considering the meaning of this, I took a quick inventory of my life experiences to try and identify pockets of time when I could empathize with exactly what Eric Liddell was feeling when he uttered those words.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the moments that stuck out the most were also times when I felt really "right" with myself. 

I think about the end of my high school career, when I was dedicating nearly all of my energy to dancing and getting good grades. Those performances were, by far, some of my best. I remember the day my hard work paid off and I was accepted to the university I so deeply wanted to attend. I sift through the ups and downs of my college years and recall some of my proudest moments using my gifts to create, choreograph and perform. As a young professional, even when work and interpersonal relationships seemed too hard, those struggles proved to be some of the most rewarding experiences. And now, in a new home, with my still newlywed husband, our little pup and a million adventures still to take together, I, once again, feel God's pleasure.

Thanksgiving is a time when people, the nation over, give thanks for the blessings in their lives. They pronounce (even if only on facebook) their gratefulness for health and love and family and friendship (and food). Oftentimes, I believe many people do not even know who they are thanking or why it feels so good to give thanks - and yet, ask 100 Americans what their favorite holiday is and my guess is at least 90% would say Thanksgiving. 

But when your life is characterized by a desire to seek and experience God's pleasure, every step you take, all year, becomes an act of thanksgiving. I've come to understand that the best way to express gratefulness is by living out your life always as an act of worship, as a response to the blessings you've been given and as an offering being returned to our Creator.

This year, as I have been reflecting on my desire to live a life that is bursting at the seams with thanksgiving (and not because I ate waaayyyyy too much at dinner on Thursday), I've realized that right now, in this moment, I feel right in the middle of God's will. Said another way, we're in a really good place right now. In fact, it is a little trippy!

That's not to say there still isn't uncertainty as to what the future will hold for us - children, new jobs, perhaps another move - but the confidence with which I am facing that uncertain future is radical and freeing. The unknown used to trouble and worry me a great deal, but as I seek to live in the presence of God's perfect will for me, I am at peace knowing He has already taken care of that for us. 

So while everyone is saying thanks for the things they have already experienced this year, I'd like to add to the list that I am grateful for the future that has been laid out before me. I know that no matter what, I will be right where I'm supposed to be and I will feel His pleasure.

It feels like only yesterday...

Today is such a special day...no, not because it is Election Day, because November 6th marks my wedding anniversary with Hubs.

So many of you know that we remember fondly (and often) our incredible wedding day two years ago! It was everything a bride could ask for and we love reminiscing about it - looking at photos, watching videos, and recounting funny memories.

It is crazy to feel that so much has changed since that day (I mean, goodness, we live in Tennessee now!) and yet it feels as though time has flown by. I love carving out time to focus on how grateful I am for our marriage by remembering the day that marks the beginning of this exciting journey.

Marriage is such a blessing and ours is certainly worth celebrating not just on our wedding day but always!

Below is a video shot and produced by Blu Couture Wedding Films. They did an incredible job of capturing some of the day's most special moments. For more information on and photos of our special day, please visit this post on Style Me Pretty! Enjoy!

Jaclyn&Tim || The Feature in the Big Apple from Blu Couture on Vimeo.

This happens to other people.

This has been one of those weeks. The kind that come along (hopefully) only once in a lifetime. The kind that change you from the inside out. The kind that draw a line between then and now, that can never be crossed again.

This week, our family bid farewell to a woman with a warm, giving and adventurous heart. The loss was tragic and unexpected, and has left unanswered questions and a gaping hole in the hearts of so many who knew and loved her.

I also watched as a monstrous hurricane wreaked havoc on my beloved home state of New Jersey. From Manhattan down to our beach home on the Jersey Shore, the devastation is heart stopping and unlike anything I've experienced before. 

This kind of wreckage happens elsewhere, to other people, not to us. It is something you watch on the news, tear up over, pray for and even donate generously to help clean up, but it is most certainly not something you ever expect to experience.

Hubs and I, though safe from the storm in Tennessee, Kentucky and Indiana these last few days, watched in horror as our world was turned on its head from several different perspectives. We worried about our loved ones near and far, missed the hugs and cheerful laughter of someone to whom we'd grown quite close, offered meager strength to those in pain, and recounted endless  memories shared in a place that seemed untouchable until now.

I have been forced to juxtapose the loss of a loved one with the loss of a special place. In truth, I feel conflicted about the pain I am experiencing over both of those, even though the latter seems so trivial compared to the former. 

I've prayed through these feelings and found some comfort in the permission to grieve. I have learned it is wholly cleansing to give yourself over to the hurt for a little while and release it to God. And I am once again amazed at how He shows up when we give things over to Him.

Oh how He has shown up in the last few days.

He has revealed Himself through the thoughtful concern and prayerful comfort offered by friends, old and new. I am so deeply humbled by the outreach we received, even in the midst of the difficult times others were facing.

So while I still have some unresolved feelings over everything we've experienced this week, I will say that I am so grateful that I will never, ever have to go through any of life's most difficult days alone.

To my friends and family impacted by Hurricane Sandy, I love you so deeply and I am praying for peace and comfort for you all. 

For our beloved Shore, I am hopeful that we can rebuild that place we all hold so deeply in our hearts and share it again together and with future generations.

And to my dear brother-in-law, sister-in-law and your family, my heart is aching for you and my desperate prayer is that the Lord will just wrap you up in loving comfort in this sad and confusing time.