Lying in Wait

"Advent is a season of waiting. A season of anticipation. And a season of preparation."

I sat in church allowing that Truth to spill over me.

I am sure many of you, like me, have sat in sermons comparing the biblical importance of Advent to the hustle-and-bustle that undoubtedly precedes Christmas in our culture. Most years I peacefully embrace this period of lying in wait for the arrival of the Christ Child. This year, I am struck with an altogether different approach to the season.

This year, to regard this time as a period of waiting, of anticipation, of preparation, feels in some way, passive, even frustrating. During that sermon, it struck me that the sense of disequilibrium I have been experiencing recently is a symptom of passive, frustrated waiting that is permeating my life.  

Let me pause here for a moment. I am no less thankful than I was only a few short weeks ago, and certainly no less blessed, but recently I have been feeling a little less...balanced. Some may even say I am in a rut.

A great deal of excitement has flooded my family recently. We continue to anticipate the arrival of two new little ones in April -- one girl and one boy. We received the joyous news that my sister was accepted to the Class of 2016 at Duke University. And my adoring husband received an acceptance letter of his own --he begins Business School in the spring.

It's all big news. It's all happy news.

Amidst the excitement however, it has become abundantly clear that much of this news is happening around me, to my loved ones. And while I am inextricably linked to and affected by all of it, I am not the one reporting anything new or exciting. For some reason, this feels like an uncomfortable first for me.

Please do not misunderstand: I am overjoyed for my family.

I just somehow feel outside of the excitement.

I tend to need to look forward to things. Excitement and anticipation drive me. Those of you who know me well, can attest to this characteristic. Sometimes this driving need inspires radically selfless behavior, born out of my sheer disbelief at how truly blessed I am. Other times, it brings out ugly self indulgence.

The status quo is something that seems helpless, even desperate right now -- even if my status quo is almost laughably without flaw. I am eager to take on my next challenge, a new chapter. I want to dive into a new project, and catch a glimpse of my future.

As I sat in church considering the pastor's words about Advent, I knew in my heart that this was one of God's teaching moments. You know the kind...when God gently nudges your heart to hear a message with new ears, to reconsider the state of your life, to listen to His commands, and to obey.

So I have made a decision: Instead of passively waiting, I choose to actively wait, anticipate and prepare for what God has in store for me. I know He has a good and perfect plan for me. I know He is teaching me something in this season of status quo and I know He is shaping my heart for the next chapter.

It's the time of year when we start considering New Year's Resolutions. I think mine will be to rejoice in the status quo and obediently wait, anticipate and prepare to see God's story for me unfold.

I pray you will join me in this endeavour in these final days leading up to Christmas.

Counting My Blessings

Without jumping into a rambling apology for how long it has been since I last posted, I am very sorry I've been so absent from this blog. But, since it has been so long, I have plenty to say and I wanted to take this opportunity first to declare just how much I love Thanksgiving and how excited I am for it. It is, by far, my most favorite holiday!

I have so much to be thankful for. And I bet you do too. But, if you're like me, amidst the commuting and the traffic, the busy work day and the weather, you probably forget just how truly blessed you are.

Among the many blessings for which I am overwhelmingly grateful, I count the opportunity to celebrate Thanksgiving. How special that we have been given a day carved out (pun intended) just for reflecting on our blessings! "What?!?" you say, "I thought Thanksgiving was for overeating and watching football". And to you I reply, the opportunity to eat, to enjoy the company of the ones you love, and even to watch football -- all blessings. And I am grateful for those too.

I have started to regard November as the month that marks a new year. I know most people think January 1st is the date for new beginnings, or even the first day after Labor Day in September, when that "back-to-school" feeling hangs in the air. But for me, it is November. November not only holds my favorite holiday but as of last year, my wedding anniversary as well.

I cannot believe it has been a year! And what a year it has been! 

Marriage is most definitely high atop the list of blessings for which I am thankful. Hubs and I have both grown so much in the past twelve months and it is amazing to see what the Lord is doing in each of us as individuals, while simultaneously shaping the heart of our marriage. I welcome the blissful times - when we're lost in a moment so silly and so special no one else would understand - and the hard ones - when we need to lean on each other with all of ourselves because we are not strong enough to stand on our own - all of these reveal God's grace and provision for us.

I was so thrilled to kick off November by celebrating our anniversary surrounded by friends and family. We looked at photos, watched videos, ate cake, and reminisced about our wedding day a year ago. I'm thankful for those photos, those videos, definitely the cake, and especially the memories.

We've also recently joined a small group through our church. Each week, we meet with a group of young married couples and discuss the challenges and blessings of marriage. We're arming ourselves with the tools necessary to stave off The Enemy as he tries to destroy this most precious relationship. I am thankful for the new friends we've made in that group, for the discussions we have, and for the lessons we take home.

I am thankful that we'll be welcoming new life into our growing family in April...no, not me and Hubs yet...but my brother and sister-in-law are pregnant again (!) and her sister (who I count as my family too) is also pregnant -- they're due within weeks of each other. How awesome?!?!

I am thankful that though I live in a fallen world, I was born in a country that embraces freedom. I can speak and think freely, express my individuality and proclaim the righteousness of The One Most High. I can go to my church on Sundays and raise my hands and my voice in praise without fear of persecution.

Of course, I am thankful for my family and the constant reminder not to take my relationship with them for granted. We are a big, tightly-knit group that enjoys spending a great deal of time together. And I am reminded on a daily basis that so many people don't have that in their lives. I couldn't imagine a life where I don't see them as much as I do, and I'll always be thankful them.

I could go on for days listing the blessings in my life. In fact, I challenge you to make a running list in your mind, in your prayers, in a journal, of all your blessings -- you will be astounded at God's goodness.

And it is for just that I am most thankful : God's steadfast goodness and His redeeming grace. For His unrelenting love and for His forgiveness. For the skills with which He has bestowed me and the passions He has placed in my heart. And, most importantly, for the promise of eternal life that comes from knowing His Son. Now, that is something worth celebrating!

I hope you take my challenge to consider your blessings this year. I hope you remind yourself of them even after the last of the leftovers have been picked off. I hope you feel God's presence in your life and the love that He has for you. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

All my love,

Jaclyn

Instructions on How to be a Princess

A few months ago, I shamelessly revealed my not-so-minor obsession with the Royal Wedding.  I'll admit, it even gave me great comfort, if not overwhelming joy, to realize I was not alone in my brief love affair with the British Monarchy.

As time passed though, my colleagues put away their plastic crowns and tossed out their sashes. I, however, hang mine proudly in my cubicle as a reminder that I'm a Princess Too. Since then, as I've endeavored to live out that truth every day, I've found myself engaged in fascinating conversations with a special co-worker about the importance of sharing that with other women. She challenged me to write down instructions for those Princesses-in-Training who desperately need a road map to realize their true Royalty. So here goes, take notes.

Instructions on How to be a Princess

1. Say it. The first step to believing it is saying it out loud. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, I am Royalty – I must act accordingly and deserve to be treated as such.

2. Get dressed. Don’t settle for frumpy and unflattering when you can “play the role” for the day by dressing up. Let your outfit reflect your personality and a cheerful heart. Be whatever character you want to be that day and put yourself together. When you look good, you feel good.

3. Chin up. Just like you learned in ballet class – walk with your shoulders down and back, your chin up and your stomach held in. You’ll look and feel more confident and be toning your abs and back muscles at the same time – win win!

4. Smile. They say just the simple act of smiling releases endorphins in your brain that course through your system and elevate your mood. Happiness and smiles are contagious too, so spread them to others.

5. Take joy in the life and happiness of others. We so often feel compelled to share our own stories, dramas and accomplishments; making the conscious decision to listen to the stories of others and take sincere interest and joy in them, will strengthen the bond between you and another person and give you the same satisfaction that comes from helping out with a charity or reading a book with a child.

6. Be kind and gracious. Please and thank you’s are more important than we often care to remember. The simple act of opening the door for someone who has their arms full or thanking the bus-boy who clears your plates at the end of a meal can make or break someone’s day. And make eye contact while you do it. Human connection is the key to a fruitful life while we’re on this earth and so many people just float through their existence feeling ignored, unwelcome, or unimportant. Your simple actions can make someone feel noticed and relevant and you’ll be feeding your heart at the same time.

7. Use your words to encourage others. There is nothing more gratifying than making someone else feel good about herself. Compliment your neighbour on her outfit; tell your co-worker she really knocked it out of the park on her presentation; when someone impresses you, let them know.

8. Count your blessings - literally. We have become a culture of complainers. We want what she has; we’re bored with this and want that now. Taking the time to make a numbered list of the blessings in your life will floor you and make it nearly impossible for you to justify complaining. Count everything from the breath you breathe, to the shoes on your feet, to the loved ones around you. Name the roof over your head, the food on your table and the sight to see a clear blue sky or sunset. And when you can’t possibly add another item to the list, give thanks with wild and reckless abandon.

9. Give. Give of your time, of your energy, of your money, of your love and of your talents – and do it selflessly. You have no idea the blessing you can be in the life of another, whether it be your spouse or a complete stranger, from giving any of these.

10. Regard yourself the way you want others to. We can’t expect the people in our lives, or in the world at large, to respect us and treat us like the Royalty we are, if we don’t even treat ourselves as such. Stop with the self-deprecating, disparaging remarks about how you look, how much you weigh, what you make, or where you live. These are called “heart attacks” and you are launching them upon yourself – each one takes a stab at your heart until the valves close completely, shutting you off from a life-sustaining supply of love. Just like eating a healthy diet and exercising will make your heart strong, so too will the exercise of recognizing the beauty that can resonate from within you, if only you would let it.

Marriage 101 - Lesson #3: A Case of the "What-About-Me's"?

From time to time, I am struck with an overwhelming sense of selfishness.
There, I said it.

I believe, or at least hope, that for the most part, I am regarded as a generous, self-sacrificing person. I love giving -- of myself, of my time, of my money. But sometimes, the wave I never see coming washes over me and swallows me whole, until I am swimming in an ocean of "Me".

When you get married, you are instructed, if not implored, to think first of your spouse -- always. I once heard that the beauty of marriage is no longer needing to worry about yourself because the other is doing that for you. And in truth, if you are committed to each other, to your relationship and to a loving God, it is really not that difficult...most of the time.

But right now, I need a moment of confession. I've come down with a severe case of the "what-about-me's". A curable condition, no doubt, but one that takes nothing short of a heart transplant to be completely restored.

Big things are happening in our world right now. As if getting married and moving to the 'burbs just nine months ago wasn't big enough, we're now making plans for our future.

Hubs is diligently studying for the GMAT -- an endeavor most definitely not for the faint of heart. He is planning to take his first test next week and will complete another round of studying before taking it again in October (all while still working his very full-time job) and submitting his applications to Business School. He has, quite frankly, been working his tail off since March and words cannot begin to express how impressed I am by my husband.

In the meantime, we're researching MBA programs and envisioning where we may want to spend the next two years. Like I said... big things.

However, amidst the plans we're starting to craft and the dreams we're striving to build, I'm not sure where I fit into the picture...

Of course, I'm the supportive wife -- encouraging when I can, listening when I need to and praying for wisdom in how best to steer my husband when he second-guesses himself. I'm trying to pick up the slack around the house, making sure we have lunch in the fridge, dinner on the table and dishes in the washer before bed. I've halted our summer social plans and made sure the ringer is turned off when he sits down for a practice exam.

But when asked by a dear friend what is going on in my life, my answer is, "well, Hubs is studying for the GMAT and we're working on B-School applications". Which is, needless to say, often met with a quizzical expression. It's just an honest answer. Frankly, there's just not much going on that is about me.

Now, before you jump down my throat and accuse me of being a terrible wife, let me say that I'm fully aware that Hubs and I are a team. What is happening in the life of one, is most definitely relevant, if not at the center, of the life of the other. And I am thrilled at his ambition and the goal that we are both working towards.

However, my confession remains the same, the "what-about-me's" are dragging me down.

Despite my tendency to always at least sound like I have the perfect answer to all of the issues brought up in this tiny cyber world, I have to admit, I'm at a bit of a loss here. I think I've taken big steps in diagnosing the problem and I think I'm more than prepared to say that my heart needs a bit of a recalibration (especially in the times I feel the the pressure to lash out about having to cook AND clean up, or wash AND fold the laundry, or any of the other things that used to be shared responsibilities and have now fallen to me). I'm just not sure where to start...

A few steps to consider...
#1 God's word is definitely a good place to begin. I want to give over my frustrations to the Lord and confess that I've succumbed to the sinful nature of putting myself at the center of the universe (yet again). I noticed the other day that the same friend who asked me what was going on in my life was wearing a bracelet with the words I AM SECOND printed on it. I was floored by the power of the message, especially considering what my heart was grappling with at the time.

I. AM. SECOND.

It helped me re-jigger my "what-about-me" feelings and transform them into "what-about-God" feelings.

#2 Asking for wisdom and guidance to fulfill God's plan never fails. I can't shake the sense that this time in our life -- which, for me, has recently been characterized by boredom or loneliness while Hubs studies -- is an opportunity to pour myself into something. I just don't know what that "something" is and I want to make sure it is "something" heart healthy and in line with God's plans for me.

So where does that leave me?

I guess those two steps are the first in a total heart makeover, as I strive to rejoice in putting myself second, both to God and to my husband.

Check out I am Second and find out more about living for God and for others.

Coming to Terms with Your Dreams

"...the real question is, 'what do you want to be when you grow up'?"

I sat there - the woman who always has something to say, always has an answer - completely dumbfounded, speechless for perhaps the first time in my life. When I didn't immediately offer a response, he rephrased, "I mean, in 10 years, what do you see yourself doing?" Still, no answer came.

These are the kinds of questions for which I've always had the answer. I'm "Type A", a good student, a hard worker, the recipient of an Ivy League degree, and a woman with an unrelenting competitiveness that permeates everything I do. I'm also a planner, committed to being 5 steps ahead at all times. Like I said, these are the kinds of questions for which I always have an answer.

As I sat, a deer in the headlights, across from a man for whom I have great personal and professional respect and from whom I was seeking advice, I felt the burning flame of my embarrassment crawl across my face. {I'm a terrible poker player, not because my eyes or my movements give me away, but because my rosy cheeks are a tell-tale sign of self-consciousness or discomfort}. I searched for an escape, a way out of answering the probing question.

After another anticipatory moment of silence, he smiled and instructed me that I had a homework assignment. "Come back in two weeks (!) and give me an answer", he stated plainly. "Great", I thought sarcastically, "two weeks to chart a course for the rest of my life. Sure, no problem!"

As the conversation wrapped up, I felt a strange nagging sensation that in fact, I do have an answer to the question so often reserved for kindergartners learning for the first time of the power that their youth and their dreams hold. Perhaps I know exactly what I want to be "when I grow up", so to speak... perhaps I was just too ashamed to admit it.

I spent the afternoon and the next few days considering both the question and that nagging feeling. Why, if as young children we're told we can be anything we dream of being, anything we set our minds to, should I ever feel ashamed of proclaiming those dreams? Why, in a moment of pure honesty, couldn't I admit that the dreams I once had for myself have changed, and indeed changed again?

I once dreamed of being a performer -- I wanted to be a Broadway star, or a recording artist -- anyone who could sell out enormous theatres and perform in front of thousands of people. {In my most stripped-down, honest moments, I still do}.

When I decided to go to Barnard and pursue a college education and a major in Economic History, I began dreaming of becoming a corporate executive, a high-powered career woman in finance.

I began working, met Hubs, and started to build a life comprised of so many rewarding facets I'd never even considered before. And once again, my dream changed.

So what do I want to be when I grow up?

I want to be a Godly woman, a supportive wife, a loving mother of as many kids as God will grant me. I want to sing in the praise team on Sunday mornings and read bedtime stories at night. I want to own a dance studio committed to discipline and excellence in the art of dance and teach young girls the importance of realizing their self-worth.

Maybe I'll never walk the red carpet at the Oscars or grace the big stage on Broadway. Maybe I'll never win a Grammy or run a multi-national corporation. But I plan to run as hard and as fast as I can after those goals. And I pray I leave behind a legacy of love, hard work, artistry and compassion as I do.

So next week, when I walk back into that man's office to turn in my "homework assignment", I may not be as poetic in my explanation, but I pray that I can report proudly on my dreams with confidence and conviction.

What about you? What do you want to be when you grow up?

Marriage 101 - Lesson #2: Sharing (Part I)

And so we continue the lessons.... this one, I can tell you, will likely be a multi-parter, as I haven't quite got it down pat yet.

Sharing. What a fascinating concept - especially in marriage.

First things first, I must make a confession -- I am not great at sharing.
{I hear the low chuckle of my friends and family who are reading this}.

I'm just not though; and frankly, I think it is a simple case of lacking experience. In my life, I never shared a bedroom with a sibling, a closet, not even so much as a bathroom. Even in the cramped living quarters of college life and the years thereafter, I managed to weasel my way into having private, personal space that was all my own -- and let me tell you, that is no easy task in a forced triple dorm room in New York City.

Again, if I'm being honest, I'll admit that these steps were taken deliberately and with a great deal of care. In fact, before starting my freshman year at Barnard, I moved in a full day earlier than the rest of my floor, to ensure that I'd have my pick of space.
Et voila! I arrived at my sorry excuse for a dorm room (it was truly an attic space with dormers and only one window the size of a small flat screen TV) and quickly realized that the layout allowed for two beds on one side of the room and a third on the other. The lone third bed also enjoyed prime proximity to the closet space. Decision made.
And so I set to work making my new bed and finding acceptable homes for my (many) belongings and clothes.

It continued in that way for the remaining three years and then on into my post-college NYC apartments. I always managed to find myself with plenty of private space to call my own.

Now, before I go any farther, I want to make it clear that while I'm challenged in the sharing department, I more than make up for it in giving (and receiving). I. AM. A. GIVER. -- I give gifts (a lot of gifts), I give time, energy, opinions, money -- you name it, I give it. That said, I give with the clear understanding that those who are on the receiving end now have ownership over whatever it is I gave. I give it and it is now yours.

In much the same way, when I receive anything, I do so under the assumption that it is then mine.

Give - receive. Easy peasy.

And once again I say.... and then I got married...

My oh my the things you share in a marriage! Frankly, the sharing of the spiritual, emotional, and mental components of our marriage is enjoyable and challenging. I welcome opportunities to share in Hubs' frustrations, joys, and accomplishments. Where I get tripped up though, is in the sharing of physical objects and of course, space.

Exhibit A -- The Closet
In my 25 years of life I have accumulated an impressive (and alarming) amount of stuff. That's all it is - stuff. Clothes, shoes, books, bags. makeup, hair products, electronics, accessories -- there is literally a ton of it. Fortunately, for the first time since I moved away from home, I live in a house that is more than capable of accommodating all of it.

We have more closets than I could have hoped for and entire rooms begging to be filled with objects. However, there are a few things I insist on keeping close by. (1) All of my bathroom products; (2) My clothes, shoes and bags. In the 6 months that we've lived in this home, I've done my best to draw an invisible line between my side of the closet and Hubs'. Sometimes though -- like last week -- my items encroach on and even breach that line. "Commandeering space" as Hubs says. I'm a regular old Closet Pirate {arrgghhh}.

It isn't that I don't understand his need for closet space, it is just that I have more items for which to find a home. When he's not using the space allotted to him, I subconsciously take it as an invitation to fill it with my own belongings. Bad mistake. See the line. Respect the line.

Exhibit B -- Our new iPad
The other day, we broke down, sold out, and joined the future - we marched into the Apple Store and 30 minutes later walked out with a brand new iPad.

For a girl who longs for the days of her LG flip phone, this was a big step. I'm still not 100% sure how I'm going to make use of this newfangled gadget that everyone seems so enamored with, but I'm pretty certain I'm going to die trying to figure that out.

The challenge here though, is that you'll note I said we walked out with A new iPad - as in one. A new toy and a new lesson to be learned.
It has been three days and we're off to a rocky start. I want to spend time losing shamelessly at "Words with Friends" while Hubs can't tear himself away from "Angry Birds". And, since our limited knowledge of its functionality doesn't extend too far past those two Apps, we're trying to sort out how best to split the time evenly, while still managing to make time for each other.

As I said, it has been three days and tonight I even went so far as to say "it looks like we're either going to need to get me my own, or we should just return this one now". Sharing.Fail.

Stay tuned...

Marriage 101 - Lesson #1: Defiance vs. Disagreement

So we're newlyweds...in other words, we are kids who just promised to love and cherish and keep each other, live together, pray together, one day raise kids together, sacrifice for each other, laugh together, and take on each others' pain -- all without killing each other! Heavy stuff!

6 months in, I can assure you that marriage is an incredible blessing and is filled with a ton of fun, a lot of snuggling, and opportunities to grow and learn nearly every day. The struggles of learning to accept and love your spouse for all of their quirky nuances and shortcomings is as exciting as it is challenging. And while I look at our calendar, realizing how many friends and friends of friends will be embarking on this great adventure in the next few months or years, I feel compelled to share with you some important lessons from newlywed life.

By way of full disclosure, this idea was born out of reading my incredible friend's incredible blog, Redefining Real. I strongly suggest you check it out - she is an inspiring writer with so much to offer. She too is a newlywed and we're enjoying sharing war stories from our first year of marriage.

For all you newlyweds, recently engaged couples, and even longtime married folks, I hope you find some of these lessons useful (and if not, I hope you find the anecdotes amusing!).

Lesson #1: Defiance vs. Disagreement

Learning to share a closet, let alone an entire home, with another human being is a challenge for most people - myself included. My roommates in college can attest to the fact that I was not always the best roommate. I like to do things my way, decorate in my style, watch TV on my time - and I don't always respond well to suggestions that conflict with this approach.

And then I got married...

Implicit in the promises we made to each other is the agreement to learn to accept and, dare I say, adopt, different approaches to the way we do things. We're a team now, which means there will always be more than one idea on the table.

My husband, in his oblivious yet infinite wisdom, latched onto a concept the other day, in the middle of our kitchen, that speaks to the heart of this issue.

For two days running, I had thrown away items of his that he was not quite finished using, largely due to the fact that I just move too quickly. On Saturday, I had used his current Wall Street Journal and his New York Times as a work station outside in the rain while cleaning the grates of our grill with heavy duty oven cleaner. Ooops! The following day, I accidentally threw away his iced coffee, assuming he wasn't going to drink it because the folks at Dunkin Donuts had messed up his order.

In the grand scheme of things, they were minor offenses, but these fumbles fell on the heels of previous instances where I had simply acted with reckless disregard for Hubs' warnings that continuing on my course of action would put me at risk of injuring myself or making a huge mistake. What can I say? I'm an act-before-I-think-push-through-til-it's-done-kinda-girl. Said another way: the complete opposite of my better half!

Upon discovering that I'd thrown out his iced coffee, something just snapped. Though seemingly blowing a minor indiscretion out of proportion, my husband wandered into a much more important discussion. He eloquently insisted that when I explicitly go against his wishes for me to slow down, I'm not merely disagreeing with his opinion or approach, but rather acting with defiance.

Ding, ding, ding. I gotta hand it to the man, he hit the nail right on the head.

Further to his point, he assured me that when we find ourselves at odds on a particular issue, the appropriate response is to stop and make clear my differing point of view.

Ah ha! Defiance vs. Disagreement - mark that down.

I know it seems trivial, but when you're married to someone as stubborn as I am, important nuances such as this take on immense value. I pray all the time to be a supportive member of this team. I want to honor my husband and our marriage through my actions and my words. This snapshot taught me that honoring his wishes and listening to his opinions doesn't imply that I'm giving up my own.

Many women hear the word "defiance" and cringe at the thought of "obeying" their husbands. I for one, with my loud voice and strong convictions, have never felt threatened by the concept of obeying my spouse. I know I'm in a loving partnership that is based on mutual respect. He's holding up his end of the deal, and I need to do the same.

I guess the rule for the road is: LISTEN to your spouse, when his or her opinion differs from yours, rather than just shutting down their suggestions. CONSIDER their position, and finally, STATE your own. Your bound to end up somewhere closer to the same page than you were before.

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." - Ephesians 5:21

A Birthday Wish!

Just a little note to wish my loving husband the happiest of birthdays!

Hubs, I love you dearly -- you bring such immense joy to my life and I am so thrilled to be sharing this incredible adventure with you. The love we share is a great blessing and I feel so honored to be your wife.

I wish you all the happiness in the world today and every day.

With all my love, I am faithfully yours,

*Jaclyn

I'm a Princess Too

I admit it -- two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a severe case of Royal Wedding Fever.

Symptoms are said to include:
- Purchasing $100 of Princess paraphernalia for an impromptu early morning office party,
- Drinking mimosas with co-workers in the conference room while awaiting the balcony kiss,
- And waking up at 4:30AM to ensure a front row seat in front of the TV on your treadmill.
- In the most extreme patients, specialists have also witnessed waking up your husband with shrieks of excitement for him to come watch as the bride emerged for the first time.

Treatment can take weeks, or as long as the next news cycle, to take effect.

If you're reading this and have also contracted this horrific condition, please know, you're not alone. If you are a loved one of a survivor, stay strong for them. And finally, if you're my husband, I'm sorry {but not that sorry} for ripping you out of bed like that. You're a sport!

In all seriousness though, it was such a thrill to watch the wedding of Catherine Middleton and Prince William. If you know me, it doesn't take much to realize that the combination of a wedding and real life royalty is right up my alley!

What I couldn't quite understand however, amidst the Royal Wedding hullabaloo, was why our wedding, 6 months earlier, hadn't received the same degree of press coverage. After all, don't they know who I am?!?! Perhaps, I thought, it was the lack of festive headware present at our nuptials. Then I got to thinking....

I was reading a recent devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries {if you're not signed up to receive their daily devotional, I strongly suggest you do!} about the many hats that we, as women, wear on a daily basis. The author astutely observed that oftentimes, as Jesus girls, we tend to wear our crown atop a very high and unstable stack of other hats. She concluded by urging us, each day, to wake up and don our crown, as the daughter of the King, as our very first hat upon which we can then build a stable, multi-faceted collection of hats.

That's when it hit me!

I was finally able to pinpoint the nagging feeling of, dare I say, jealousy, that I felt while watching the Royal Wedding proceedings. It was, undoubtedly, the feeling that no matter how often my husband assures me that I'm his Princess {thank you sweetie!}, I would never really be called a Princess...legally (unless I worked at one of these companies). But, as daughter of the Most High King, I am exactly that - a Princess! You can imagine my excitement at the realization.

Because I am saved by God's grace, I too can wear a crown of victory and share in His glory! What an utterly awe-inspiring, life changing truth. Can I get an Amen!

But, in the words of Peter Parker's grandfather, "with great power comes great responsibility". Just as Princess Catherine will now take on the responsibilities of being a newly minted member of the Royal Family, when we put on that crown as one of God's daughters, we're accepting the responsibilities and promising to live our lives as stewards of what it means to be part of His family. What an awesome (and weighty) call!

So although the paparazzi and onlookers the world over were not waiting, with bated breath, for my gown to be revealed (it was a head-turning gorgeous Vera Wang Luxe by the way), and although I only received one new name upon marrying hubs (as opposed to several, i.e. Her Royal Highness Princess William Arthur Philip Louis, Duchess of Cambridge, Countess of Strathearn, Baroness Carrickfergus) ours was, nevertheless, a Royal Wedding -- the joining in Holy Matrimony of two of the King of Kings' prized children, "heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ". And that, dear friends, is worth celebrating each and every day!

“…that they may have life, and have it to the full”

What does it mean to live life to the fullest?

I suppose you could ask 100 people that question and receive the same number of unique responses.

For some it is to travel, whenever and to wherever they please.
For others it is freedom from responsibility – doing what they want, when they want to.
Still others believe it is the constant pursuit of “fun” in one’s life.
And yet for Christians it is something else entirely.

Each year, Easter brings with it a sense of renewal, a fresh start. It is my equivalent of Chinese New Year. Perhaps it is the feeling of spring in the air after a long, cold winter (especially this year). Perhaps it is the new Easter outfit I always save for that special day (I blame that one on my mother). Or perhaps it is the familiar message you hear in new and different ways each Sunday during the Lenten season as Christians, the world over, prepare their hearts for Easter.

But, the fresh start that Easter brings also carries with it a challenge -- a call to action to embrace the life offered by Christ’s dying and rising again. Throughout Holy Week, we are called to walk with Christ in the days and moments that lead up to His death. We celebrate as He triumphantly entered Jerusalem, welcomed as King. We weep as He is betrayed and cast out by society. We break as His body is beaten and broken. And we breathe a gasping, desperate breath as He is nailed to the cross and encounters death. We are called to go with Him to the cross and suffer with him so that we may also share in the glory of his rising from the dead.

For years, I would sit in Good Friday services and sob at the thought of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, being tortured and killed. I would sing out and pray as tears would roll down my cheeks. But this year, as I walked with Him on His journey to the cross, I felt my heart pulling me out of that sorrow to set my sights on Sunday morning. Because, on Easter we celebrate victory – His victory over our sin and the death that it brings.

Jesus says, in John 10:10, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” On Easter we celebrate new life and the opportunity to live it to the full, free from the chains of sin that threaten to drag us down.

As the Bible states in Romans 8:16, “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”*

So this year, as we take our first steps into the fresh start offered by the Easter celebration, I urge you to embrace the full life offered by a relationship with Jesus Christ. We were created to walk closely with Him, to follow in His footsteps and share in His suffering, so that we may also share in His glory. Now that, is living life to the full!

*In response to the challenge made by my brother and sister-in-law’s church, Sojourn, in Louisville, Kentucky, I’ve started memorizing all of Romans 8. I’m more than halfway through. I challenge you to join me in this mission. Let God’s word be the words that fill your mind throughout the day and experience the freedom that comes with focusing on Him, rather than the nagging frustrations and worries that have a tendency to otherwise creep in.

A Year in Review and a Look at the Future

What a difference a year makes...

A new name... a new husband... a new home... a new life...


It's about that time, when all of us become a bit more introspective and reflect on our experiences over the last year and how they have changed us, for better or for worse. We make promises to be better, thinner, or healthier and we draft a laundry list of "to-do's" for the year ahead. Once that ball drops, our slate is wiped clean and we are offered a fresh start.

For most people, the opportunity to start anew is a welcome one. And, if I'm being honest, in the past, I too have felt the magic that the holidays bring and the mystery of the start of a new year.

But, this year.... this year, without a doubt, brings with it some of the most complicated and contradictory feelings of my adult life.

I am thrilled to be a newlywed - thrilled! Hubs and I (note the name change) are settling into married life quite well and are having an absolute blast setting up our new home. It's the stuff of fairytales...truly.

But, in the moments when I am most sincerely honest with myself, there is a sneaking sense of, dare I say, disappointment that 2010 has come to a close.

The end of 2009 was marked by a proposal and a gorgeous diamond ring which catapulted us into a season of planning and excitement. On the Eve of 2010, Hubs and I stole a few moments alone and toasted to the coming year and the thrilling promises it held.

And those promises came true!

2010 was kicked off by engagement parties, dress buying, a new job and wedding planning -- some of life's most exciting experiences! And the intoxicating and blissful feelings never waned over the course of 11 months.

As The Big Day drew near, the mounting anticipation only grew, and finally, it was weeks away.

However, amidst the highest of highs, mid-October brought with it some of life's lowest lows. My grandfather, with whom I've been very close my entire life, suddenly grew incredibly ill and was admitted to the hospital. It was indeed frightening, but it was something we'd experienced before with his various ailments. In the past, we'd been terrified, but he'd always managed to pull through.

I had never envisioned my wedding day without all 4 of my grandparents present. In fact, I'd never experienced any of life's mile markers without them -- birthdays, graduations, dance performances, inductions into the National Honor Society... You name it - there they would be, first on line and saving seats at the very front of the venue.

Naturally, I assumed my wedding day would look much the same as all of these other momentous occasions (but with a much better outfit!) - but I couldn't have been more wrong.

On October 12th, my brother and his beautiful wife welcomed into this world their first child. She is gorgeous, an absolutely breathtaking sight. I became an Aunt for the first time and my parents are now Grandma and Grandpa.

Simultaneously, my grandfather was growing increasingly worse. We recognized the severity of the situation and spent countless hours at his side at the hospital. He even had the chance to video chat with his new great-granddaughter {I'll always be thankful for technology, even if only for that one moment}. But, two days later, on October 14th, with his family around him, my grandfather slipped into a peaceful sleep and never woke up.

In a moment, I went from a glowing bride-to-be to a little girl whose world had been shaken and shattered.

It was a challenge I had not been prepared for - but I am steadfast in my belief that on our wedding day, my grandfather was watching us from the best seat in the house, just as he always was.

So here I am. The holidays were very different this year and it is now 2011. I'm a workaholic by day and a blissfully happy newlywed by night. And do not get me wrong: Married. Life. Rocks. This year may not be about china patterns, centerpieces, and seating arrangements, but I am confident that the future holds promises I've never even considered...

Happy New Year - I wish you all the best in 2011!