Tuesday, December 18, 2012

All who are weary and burdened.

I don't need to tell you that the country has been reeling since Friday. We watched in horror as innocent lives, most of them children, were violently attacked and taken from their families in a manner too awful to imagine.

We have all been left with heavy hearts, unanswered questions and disquieted spirits in the aftermath. In the last few days, I have shed tears, cried out for Jesus and prayed quietly. I have felt disgusted by humanity and refreshed by it all at the same time. I have felt abandoned and yet deeply connected to God.

Our human perspective is incapable of processing such a nightmare. But our Heavenly Provider is more than capable of overcoming it

I feel as though I have so many thoughts and opinions swirling around my mind about the direction of our nation and the world at large, my view on gun laws and our society's approach to addressing mental health issues. But mostly, I feel speechless and completely at the mercy of my Savior.

And I think that is enough. He is enough. None of my words will heal these wounds, will bind them up and bring us to salvation. But peace is found in the moments when you have come to the end of yourself - your abilities, your understanding, your stength - when all that is left is Him. I hope to cling to this feeling of complete and utter dependence on His good and perfect will, on His grace, His provision, and His sovereignty - because everything else falls short.

My prayer for our country and especially the community and families of Newtown, CT is that God would flood them with His all consuming love. That they would feel His embrace and rest in it. That His word, and His word alone, would inform our decision making and our actions. And that Jesus would come. Amen.




Come, thou long expected Jesus,
born to set thy people free;
from our fears and sins release us,
let us find our rest in thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
hope of all the earth thou art;
dear desire of every nation,
joy of every longing heart.

Born thy people to deliver,
born a child and yet a King,
born to reign in us forever,
now thy gracious kingdom bring.
By thine own eternal spirit
rule in all our hearts alone;
by thine all sufficient merit,
raise us to thy glorious throne.


Saturday, November 24, 2012

Right Where I'm Supposed to Be

 


"I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure."  

I'll be honest, I've never seen Chariots of Fire (I know, you don't have to ridicule me, others have already taken care of that), but when I heard this quote during a sermon a few weeks ago, it took root in my soul somewhere. I decided that day, I wanted to live my life in the midst and presence of God's will - I want to feel His pleasure.

In considering the meaning of this, I took a quick inventory of my life experiences to try and identify pockets of time when I could empathize with exactly what Eric Liddell was feeling when he uttered those words.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the moments that stuck out the most were also times when I felt really "right" with myself. 

I think about the end of my high school career, when I was dedicating nearly all of my energy to dancing and getting good grades. Those performances were, by far, some of my best. I remember the day my hard work paid off and I was accepted to the university I so deeply wanted to attend. I sift through the ups and downs of my college years and recall some of my proudest moments using my gifts to create, choreograph and perform. As a young professional, even when work and interpersonal relationships seemed too hard, those struggles proved to be some of the most rewarding experiences. And now, in a new home, with my still newlywed husband, our little pup and a million adventures still to take together, I, once again, feel God's pleasure.

Thanksgiving is a time when people, the nation over, give thanks for the blessings in their lives. They pronounce (even if only on facebook) their gratefulness for health and love and family and friendship (and food). Oftentimes, I believe many people do not even know who they are thanking or why it feels so good to give thanks - and yet, ask 100 Americans what their favorite holiday is and my guess is at least 90% would say Thanksgiving. 

But when your life is characterized by a desire to seek and experience God's pleasure, every step you take, all year, becomes an act of thanksgiving. I've come to understand that the best way to express gratefulness is by living out your life always as an act of worship, as a response to the blessings you've been given and as an offering being returned to our Creator.

This year, as I have been reflecting on my desire to live a life that is bursting at the seams with thanksgiving (and not because I ate waaayyyyy too much at dinner on Thursday), I've realized that right now, in this moment, I feel right in the middle of God's will. Said another way, we're in a really good place right now. In fact, it is a little trippy!

That's not to say there still isn't uncertainty as to what the future will hold for us - children, new jobs, perhaps another move - but the confidence with which I am facing that uncertain future is radical and freeing. The unknown used to trouble and worry me a great deal, but as I seek to live in the presence of God's perfect will for me, I am at peace knowing He has already taken care of that for us. 

So while everyone is saying thanks for the things they have already experienced this year, I'd like to add to the list that I am grateful for the future that has been laid out before me. I know that no matter what, I will be right where I'm supposed to be and I will feel His pleasure.


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

It feels like only yesterday...


Today is such a special day...no, not because it is Election Day, because November 6th marks my wedding anniversary with Hubs.

So many of you know that we remember fondly (and often) our incredible wedding day two years ago! It was everything a bride could ask for and we love reminiscing about it - looking at photos, watching videos, and recounting funny memories.

It is crazy to feel that so much has changed since that day (I mean, goodness, we live in Tennessee now!) and yet it feels as though time has flown by. I love carving out time to focus on how grateful I am for our marriage by remembering the day that marks the beginning of this exciting journey.

Marriage is such a blessing and ours is certainly worth celebrating not just on our wedding day but always!

Below is a video shot and produced by Blu Couture Wedding Films. They did an incredible job of capturing some of the day's most special moments. For more information on and photos of our special day, please visit this post on Style Me Pretty! Enjoy!



Thursday, November 1, 2012

This happens to other people.

This has been one of those weeks. The kind that come along (hopefully) only once in a lifetime. The kind that change you from the inside out. The kind that draw a line between then and now, that can never be crossed again.

This week, our family bid farewell to a woman with a warm, giving and adventurous heart. The loss was tragic and unexpected, and has left unanswered questions and a gaping hole in the hearts of so many who knew and loved her.

I also watched as a monstrous hurricane wreaked havoc on my beloved home state of New Jersey. From Manhattan down to our beach home on the Jersey Shore, the devastation is heart stopping and unlike anything I've experienced before. 

This kind of wreckage happens elsewhere, to other people, not to us. It is something you watch on the news, tear up over, pray for and even donate generously to help clean up, but it is most certainly not something you ever expect to experience.

Hubs and I, though safe from the storm in Tennessee, Kentucky and Indiana these last few days, watched in horror as our world was turned on its head from several different perspectives. We worried about our loved ones near and far, missed the hugs and cheerful laughter of someone to whom we'd grown quite close, offered meager strength to those in pain, and recounted endless  memories shared in a place that seemed untouchable until now.

I have been forced to juxtapose the loss of a loved one with the loss of a special place. In truth, I feel conflicted about the pain I am experiencing over both of those, even though the latter seems so trivial compared to the former. 

I've prayed through these feelings and found some comfort in the permission to grieve. I have learned it is wholly cleansing to give yourself over to the hurt for a little while and release it to God. And I am once again amazed at how He shows up when we give things over to Him.

Oh how He has shown up in the last few days.

He has revealed Himself through the thoughtful concern and prayerful comfort offered by friends, old and new. I am so deeply humbled by the outreach we received, even in the midst of the difficult times others were facing.

So while I still have some unresolved feelings over everything we've experienced this week, I will say that I am so grateful that I will never, ever have to go through any of life's most difficult days alone.

To my friends and family impacted by Hurricane Sandy, I love you so deeply and I am praying for peace and comfort for you all. 

For our beloved Shore, I am hopeful that we can rebuild that place we all hold so deeply in our hearts and share it again together and with future generations.

And to my dear brother-in-law, sister-in-law and your family, my heart is aching for you and my desperate prayer is that the Lord will just wrap you up in loving comfort in this sad and confusing time.



Monday, October 15, 2012

Time Changes Everything...or does it?

Autumn has always been a reflective time of year for me. As a child, I loved fall – it meant a new school year, new clothes and new possibilities. It meant changing leaves, apple picking, pumpkin soup, and big comfy sweaters. Something about fall felt hopeful, like a fresh start. I can remember journaling (with pen and paper back then) and thinking about how fall seemed so much more like the appropriate time to make resolutions as opposed to in the dead of winter.

In truth, I still feel exactly the same way; so please forgive me while I take a moment to ruminate on why this time of year continues to hold a special place in my heart.


This past weekend, our family came together in Goshen, KY to celebrate the birthday of my niece. She is two years old now (!) and I can't help but consider all that has happened since the day she was born. It feels like yesterday, and yet, the whole world seems different now.

This darling girl was born on October 12, 2010 – only 3 weeks before Hubs and I tied the knot in New York City. It was a beautiful day when this sweet little one came into the world.


Then

Now


However, almost immediately after we welcomed this new life, a great deal of heartache fell upon our family. On October 14, 2012 one of the best men in the world went home to be with the Lord. My grandfather passed away after years of struggling with various ailments. Few people are as close to their grandparents as we are and to lose him felt as though the world couldn't possibly make sense without him in it. Nothing has really ever been the same since he left us. Holidays carry a weight they never did before, birthdays, graduations, weddings, sporting events, performances – they all feel as though they are missing something.

If you knew my grandfather, you remember his catch phrases as third base coach for the little league team, "Thada boy Tiger!"; or you can recall him fondly referring to all his little girls as "Minnies". You smile at the thought of him ordering a diet coke "easy on the ice", and have completely lost count of how many times you've heard him tell stories from his Army and Pan Am days.


Me & Gramps in 2007 when I
returned home from study abroad


My grandfather was a special man. He was profoundly traditional, wholly Italian, and endlessly loving. He was a Korean War Vet and a union man in his day. He taught us to drive, fry eggplant, and sprinkle Parmesan cheese. He sat front row at recitals and dance competitions and was the loudest voice on the sidelines at soccer and baseball games. He was deeply committed to his grandchildren and was, without question, our biggest fan. We are so blessed to have had him in our corner all these years.


One of many graduations


At the time that he passed, I was all but fully consumed with my upcoming wedding. I was three weeks out and should have been thinking about final dress fittings and seating plans. But on October 14th, everything stopped. I couldn't bring myself to imagine my wedding day without my grandfather. When November 6th rolled around soon after, I carried him with me in my heart, and on my bouquet. We honored him in word, in song and in dance, and I like to think he was dancing right along with us that night.



Fast forward two years...

Hubs and I now live in Tennessee, our youngest sibling is off at college, and that sweet little girl is growing up. She is a firecracker with a spunky personality. She has just discovered her love of ballerinas and dancing and this Aunt of hers is doing all she can to nurture that love.



Tiny Dancer



She even has a baby brother, named for our beloved Grandpa, and is embracing her new responsibilities as Big Sister.

Sweet boy with Grandpa's smirk!


Watching them grow and experience the world with fresh eyes is inspiring. Their young lives give me so much hope and I am reminded that no matter how much has changed in the last few years, so much has remained the same.

We are still a close and loving family. We are still children of the Most High and we feel His pleasure when we enjoy the many blessings He has bestowed on us. We still watch His world painted bright red, yellow and orange with the changing leaves. And we can still curl up in those big comfy sweaters.

So while change can be difficult, exciting and emotional, I take solace this time of year, in all the things that will never change.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Simple Pleasures

I tend to think that Sundays are perfect for contemplating the simple pleasures of life. You get to sit in church and sing songs of worship to your Savior. You get to curl up on the couch and watch your favorite football team (a little Go GMEN is necessary...and just for good measure, Go Pats as well!). You get to spend as long as you want making dinner as a labor of love rather than a sprint to get food on the table. You may even be able to sneak in a nap or a long walk. All of these are among the simple pleasures that make my life feel so full.

We spent a truly wonderful weekend with my parents. We toured them around Knoxville, took them to eat at several restaurants, introduced them to the UT culture, and just generally enjoyed each others' company.

Sweet Hubs spent the better part of the weekend studying for finals and wrapping up several major projects. On Sunday, as he drove off to school and I drove my parents to the airport, I thought of how I might bless his day and that of his study group amidst the stress of exams and endless assignments. There was a distinct chill in the air and so my mom and I decided the perfect pick-me-up for the weary grad student is a big ole' bowl of homemade soup -- pumpkin soup in fact...and a few pieces of crusty sourdough to boot!

So after saying my farewell to my fabulous parents (whom I miss already), I drove to the market and picked up everything I would need to concoct this deliciousness. I scurried home intent on creating the most soul warming of soups any of them had ever tasted. Armed with yummy ingredients, a 5 quart Le Creuset dutch oven and a general know-how (as opposed to a legitimate recipe), I set about fixing this soup.

And friends, let me tell you something... it was absolute fall perfection!




When it was finally just right, I sent Hubs a little text asking if I could bring them all a little treat. Three large plastic containers, a sliced baguette and some plastic cups and spoons made for the perfect care package for the study group.




It was such a joy to feed them -- a simple pleasure indeed.

In fact, I was so thrilled with how it turned out, I went straight home and whipped up another batch for Hubs and me to have on hand this week!

The rest of the night flowed from this expression of love. We spent a few stolen moments cuddling on the couch near a warm fire and even got out some of our favorite fall decorations.






Once again, I was reminded that this season, if nothing else, is about being thankful for the many (many) blessings in our lives. I, for one, am taking a great deal of pleasure from considering that these days.

Friday, October 5, 2012

A New Dynamic: Playing Host to Mom & Dad



Before we moved to Tennessee, Hubs and I had a unique living situation out in the suburbs of Northern New Jersey. We, quite literally, lived next door to my parents. It was a little "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" without the lawn statues and columns. In reality, we did lead completely separate lives, but that really didn't do much to dispel the assumptions of those whom we told about our neighborly living conditions.

In truth, it was awesome living next door. We could meet up for Sunday dinners easily, we could mooch on leftovers, borrow cars, use the pool (!), ask favors from time to time (don't worry, it was reciprocal), and so on. 

When we were considering moving, Hubs looked at me and gently reminded me that I've never really lived away from home. I considered this a moment, and realized it was true. Save for a stint in London on study abroad and a short time in Dallas or South Carolina over summers, I had really always been within 30-45 minutes of my parents' house -- my home.

Needless to say, moving to Tennessee has resulted in a need, on our part, to embrace our independence. Not to say that we were "dependent" on them, but to some degree, just the feeling of their being close by was comforting. I'm finding that I am enjoying the time away and frankly, so long as we have Facetime and G-chat, mom is only a webcam away in case I simply can't proceed without her input. 

But this weekend we have a special treat! Mom and Dad are here to visit for the weekend and I couldn't be more excited! It is strange and fun to play host to them in our new home, and while I'm certain that when Sunday comes, I'll drop them at the airport with a heavy heart, for the time being, I am really proud to be sharing our new life with them! I hope they love it here as much as we do and come back to visit often!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Forging My Own Frontier: Confessions of a Home Cook


So some of you know that in the last few years I have become quite the active home cook. Hubs swears my food is delicious (I'm not sure if he's being entirely honest, but I'll go with it), so I just keep coming up with new ways to experiment in the kitchen. Sometimes I get it way wrong, but the days when I get it right, there really is nothing better!

I'm fairly certain that the catalyst for my love of cooking was the same as many women...becoming a wife. When you're engaged, you register for all of this professional-grade cookware, you start watching Food Network with reckless abandon and dog-earing (or "Pinning") Pottery Barn-esque scenes like a junkie. And then you get married. Something about becoming a wife triggers a chemical release in our brains that tells us (no matter how much of a feminist we are...or aren't), we want to make our man happy. And what better way to a man's heart than through his stomach!?!

Since moving to the South, I've started to expand my repertoire to include some southern classics. I've started watching more Paula Deen than Giada and adding about twice the amount of butter to my dishes. (Mom, ignore that...and the 5 lbs. I've put on in the last month or so when you come to visit).

But my true inspiration, recently, has been a woman many of you fondly refer to as The Pioneer Woman -- the one and only Ree Drummond. I'll spare you the excessive gushing over her fabulousness, as it really speaks for itself, but her recipes and overall outlook on life have really taught me about being "an accidental country girl". I've been reading her blog and watching her shows religiously and she inspires nearly every decision I make in the kitchen these days... from wearing my cowboy boots to whipping up some homemade spinach and artichoke dip for gameday. 

Her cookbooks (the second of which just hit shelves in the last few weeks) arrived today and I couldn't be more excited to dive into them!


I've been actively cataloging my most successful kitchen endeavors via Instagram the last few months, so here is a look at some of my recent homeruns!


Baked Potato-Inspired "Loaded" Filet
 

The Best Beef & Veggie Stir Fry Ever
 

Asparagus Soup & Pan Roasted Halibut


 Fish Taco Night! (One of our favorites)
w/ blackened tilapia, corn tortillas, lime cumin sauce, and all the fixins!


 My (almost) Famous Chorizo & Veggie Fritatta w/ Goat Cheese
A crowd pleaser every time!


 On the fly, gluten free chocolate bread pudding w/ whiskey sauce
(Note: For this one, I was watching an episode of Paula Deen where she was making bread pudding, I pushed Pause, trotted into the kitchen, grabbed what I had on hand, and whipped up this magical deliciousness! Good gracious it was tasty!)


 Pan Roasted Sea Bass & Scallops 
w/ Garlic Rosemary Polenta over Zucchini Ribbons


 Caprese Caesar Salad 
w/ Homemade Dressing and Parmesan Crisps


 Cowboy Ribeyes w/ a Cocoa & Coffee Rub



Bruschetta on Sourdough Boule
(this was one of Ree's)

 

Steak Pizzaiola


 Gluten Free Skillet Cornbread

 

Pasta w/Leeks & Pancetta
(also one of Ree's that Hubs saw on the show and casually said, "So Babe, you're making that for dinner tonight?" And so I did.) 


Apple Oat Muffins - so Fall-y & Delish-y (& Healthy) 

 

Four Cheese Ravioli with Italian Style 
Chicken Sausage & Homemade Tomato Basil Sauce

 

Wings Two Ways
Traditional Buffalo and Sweet & Spicy Asian Glazed
(also inspired by Ree) 

 

Roasted Beef Tenderloin Au Poivre & Peppercorn Cream Sauce
(inspired by Hubs' favorite dish at The Capital Grille) 


 Game Day Pizza Dip

Before
  

After

Homemade Coleslaw
 

Ree's Spinach & Artichoke Dip
(She's right, it is the best ever! No, seriously.) 

Before
  

 After
 


And finally...the most southern of southern dishes...


Pulled Pork 
(This one deserved a play-by-play)


The Dry Rub: The usual suspects

 

 

 
 
Building the Crust: Brown on all sides



Friends of Flavor: Garlic & Onions


Getting Cozy in the Pot


Full Disclosure: Used the bottled stuff this time


 Everybody in the Pool


 And then we wait.....


and wait...


But it is so worth it, because the finished product...amazing!
(Note: when I served this to Hubs' b-school friends, many of whom are from the South, they said it was the best pulled pork they'd ever had...I'll take it.)

 


Well, there you go. I just ate dinner and somehow, I'm starving again from looking at those! While I promise NOT to turn this exclusively into a cooking blog, I'm fairly certain this won't be the last you see of my food! If anyone is interested in specific recipes, feel free to reach out!


Monday, October 1, 2012

TODAY in Tennessee - as in the Show!

So in case you didn't hear, Kathie Lee and Hoda of the 4th Hour of the TODAY Show came to the University of Tennessee today to go "back to college".

Since moving here, UT has had several national news moments including ESPN's College Game Day and now this! What fun!

But with KLG and Hoda coming to town, my work colleagues and I were especially excited! So this morning, we all got up at 3:30 (ouch!) and were on campus by 5am to see our company featured in a segment on WBIR, the local NBC affiliate. We then parked ourselves near the stage to await the 4th Hour - which begins at 10:00 AM mind you. Needless to say, it has been a long, albeit super fun day!

Below are some photos from our morning on campus! Kathie Lee and Hoda even picked up my tweet and featured it on their blog! I can't wait to watch this on my DVR later!


That's my tweet!


Watching Kip Moore warm up - "somethin bout a truck!"


An early, rainy morning - but so worth it!


On set with Sarah!


Kip Moore rockin' out!


Kathie Lee & Hoda!


Filming our segment on WBIR at 5:30 AM!



Hanging out on The Hill waiting for KLG & Hoda



Bad weather can't stop us!