Instructions on How to be a Princess

A few months ago, I shamelessly revealed my not-so-minor obsession with the Royal Wedding.  I'll admit, it even gave me great comfort, if not overwhelming joy, to realize I was not alone in my brief love affair with the British Monarchy.

As time passed though, my colleagues put away their plastic crowns and tossed out their sashes. I, however, hang mine proudly in my cubicle as a reminder that I'm a Princess Too. Since then, as I've endeavored to live out that truth every day, I've found myself engaged in fascinating conversations with a special co-worker about the importance of sharing that with other women. She challenged me to write down instructions for those Princesses-in-Training who desperately need a road map to realize their true Royalty. So here goes, take notes.

Instructions on How to be a Princess

1. Say it. The first step to believing it is saying it out loud. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, I am Royalty – I must act accordingly and deserve to be treated as such.

2. Get dressed. Don’t settle for frumpy and unflattering when you can “play the role” for the day by dressing up. Let your outfit reflect your personality and a cheerful heart. Be whatever character you want to be that day and put yourself together. When you look good, you feel good.

3. Chin up. Just like you learned in ballet class – walk with your shoulders down and back, your chin up and your stomach held in. You’ll look and feel more confident and be toning your abs and back muscles at the same time – win win!

4. Smile. They say just the simple act of smiling releases endorphins in your brain that course through your system and elevate your mood. Happiness and smiles are contagious too, so spread them to others.

5. Take joy in the life and happiness of others. We so often feel compelled to share our own stories, dramas and accomplishments; making the conscious decision to listen to the stories of others and take sincere interest and joy in them, will strengthen the bond between you and another person and give you the same satisfaction that comes from helping out with a charity or reading a book with a child.

6. Be kind and gracious. Please and thank you’s are more important than we often care to remember. The simple act of opening the door for someone who has their arms full or thanking the bus-boy who clears your plates at the end of a meal can make or break someone’s day. And make eye contact while you do it. Human connection is the key to a fruitful life while we’re on this earth and so many people just float through their existence feeling ignored, unwelcome, or unimportant. Your simple actions can make someone feel noticed and relevant and you’ll be feeding your heart at the same time.

7. Use your words to encourage others. There is nothing more gratifying than making someone else feel good about herself. Compliment your neighbour on her outfit; tell your co-worker she really knocked it out of the park on her presentation; when someone impresses you, let them know.

8. Count your blessings - literally. We have become a culture of complainers. We want what she has; we’re bored with this and want that now. Taking the time to make a numbered list of the blessings in your life will floor you and make it nearly impossible for you to justify complaining. Count everything from the breath you breathe, to the shoes on your feet, to the loved ones around you. Name the roof over your head, the food on your table and the sight to see a clear blue sky or sunset. And when you can’t possibly add another item to the list, give thanks with wild and reckless abandon.

9. Give. Give of your time, of your energy, of your money, of your love and of your talents – and do it selflessly. You have no idea the blessing you can be in the life of another, whether it be your spouse or a complete stranger, from giving any of these.

10. Regard yourself the way you want others to. We can’t expect the people in our lives, or in the world at large, to respect us and treat us like the Royalty we are, if we don’t even treat ourselves as such. Stop with the self-deprecating, disparaging remarks about how you look, how much you weigh, what you make, or where you live. These are called “heart attacks” and you are launching them upon yourself – each one takes a stab at your heart until the valves close completely, shutting you off from a life-sustaining supply of love. Just like eating a healthy diet and exercising will make your heart strong, so too will the exercise of recognizing the beauty that can resonate from within you, if only you would let it.