Time Changes Everything...or does it?

Autumn has always been a reflective time of year for me. As a child, I loved fall – it meant a new school year, new clothes and new possibilities. It meant changing leaves, apple picking, pumpkin soup, and big comfy sweaters. Something about fall felt hopeful, like a fresh start. I can remember journaling (with pen and paper back then) and thinking about how fall seemed so much more like the appropriate time to make resolutions as opposed to in the dead of winter.

In truth, I still feel exactly the same way; so please forgive me while I take a moment to ruminate on why this time of year continues to hold a special place in my heart.

This past weekend, our family came together in Goshen, KY to celebrate the birthday of my niece. She is two years old now (!) and I can't help but consider all that has happened since the day she was born. It feels like yesterday, and yet, the whole world seems different now.

This darling girl was born on October 12, 2010 – only 3 weeks before Hubs and I tied the knot in New York City. It was a beautiful day when this sweet little one came into the world.

Then

Now

However, almost immediately after we welcomed this new life, a great deal of heartache fell upon our family. On October 14, 2012 one of the best men in the world went home to be with the Lord. My grandfather passed away after years of struggling with various ailments. Few people are as close to their grandparents as we are and to lose him felt as though the world couldn't possibly make sense without him in it. Nothing has really ever been the same since he left us. Holidays carry a weight they never did before, birthdays, graduations, weddings, sporting events, performances – they all feel as though they are missing something.

If you knew my grandfather, you remember his catch phrases as third base coach for the little league team, "Thada boy Tiger!"; or you can recall him fondly referring to all his little girls as "Minnies". You smile at the thought of him ordering a diet coke "easy on the ice", and have completely lost count of how many times you've heard him tell stories from his Army and Pan Am days.

Me & Gramps in 2007 when I

returned home from study abroad

My grandfather was a special man. He was profoundly traditional, wholly Italian, and endlessly loving. He was a Korean War Vet and a union man in his day. He taught us to drive, fry eggplant, and sprinkle Parmesan cheese. He sat front row at recitals and dance competitions and was the loudest voice on the sidelines at soccer and baseball games. He was deeply committed to his grandchildren and was, without question, our biggest fan. We are so blessed to have had him in our corner all these years.

One of many graduations

At the time that he passed, I was all but fully consumed with my upcoming wedding. I was three weeks out and should have been thinking about final dress fittings and seating plans. But on October 14th, everything stopped. I couldn't bring myself to imagine my wedding day without my grandfather. When November 6th rolled around soon after, I carried him with me in my heart, and on my bouquet. We honored him in word, in song and in dance, and I like to think he was dancing right along with us that night.

Fast forward two years...

Hubs and I now live in Tennessee, our youngest sibling is off at college, and that sweet little girl is growing up. She is a firecracker with a spunky personality. She has just discovered her love of ballerinas and dancing and this Aunt of hers is doing all she can to nurture that love.

Tiny Dancer

She even has a baby brother, named for our beloved Grandpa, and is embracing her new responsibilities as Big Sister.

Sweet boy with Grandpa's smirk!

Watching them grow and experience the world with fresh eyes is inspiring. Their young lives give me so much hope and I am reminded that no matter how much has changed in the last few years, so much has remained the same.

We are still a close and loving family. We are still children of the Most High and we feel His pleasure when we enjoy the many blessings He has bestowed on us. We still watch His world painted bright red, yellow and orange with the changing leaves. And we can still curl up in those big comfy sweaters.

So while change can be difficult, exciting and emotional, I take solace this time of year, in all the things that will never change.