No one said we were being graded!

Something they failed to mention in our "pre-conception" meeting with the doctor was that pregnancy is like a standardized test. Not just any standardized test - not the SAT where you have the freedom to go back and rethink answers you are unsure of or complete questions you may have skipped. No. It's like the GMAT - a computerized adaptive test with an iterative algorithm that adapts its level of difficulty as you progress. Said another way, pregnancy is a test during which you never quite know how you are doing, you have no ability to go back to earlier questions and the target feels like it just keeps moving! And on top of that, it's a test you didn't even know you were taking, let alone being graded on!

I'm not sure if other pregnant women feel this way, but I have definitely experienced an extreme level of self doubt as I've navigated this exam. I think that level of uncertainty comes from the sheer volume of information (solicited and unsolicited) being thrown your way from the moment you say "we're thinking of starting a family."

While you are trying to conceive, your age is called into question....

Too young - you need to focus on your career, paying off your loans, your husband, etc. 

Too old - you should have thought about this years ago, it's going to be so hard for you now.

Your methods are challenged...

You should be charting from the start

No, just relax and don't even think about charting 

You can definitely keep drinking until you get the positive test

Stop drinking cold turkey a year in advance

Once you get that positive test back and eventually feel brave enough to announce the good news, then the fun really sets in!

Are you experiencing symptoms? Are they "the right" symptoms? Are their enough symptoms?

Are you still working out? You should really slow down!

Have you gained too much weight? (this one stays with you for the whole 9 months)

Have you lost too much weight?

Are you showing yet? Are you showing too early?

Are you eating organic? Are you still eating sushi? cold cuts? soft cheese?

You can have a sip of wine! You can't have any wine!

Did you pass or fail your glucose test?

Are your feet too puffy? your hands too puffy? your face too puffy?

How is she carrying? Are you "all belly"? or are you kind of all over the place?

Are you going to breastfeed?

Are you going to have an epidural? What will you do if you have to have a C-section? 

Will you use a midwife? Which hospital are you delivering at?

Are you taking a birthing class? What method? Are you doing Bradley?

Are you going to keep working after the baby is born?

And the list of questions...most of which are really poorly disguised judgments...goes on and on and on. It boggles the mind!

At some point, you look in the mirror at a face you barely recognize because you can't quite see your cheekbones anymore, and wonder - at the end of all this, what will my grade be?

A Swift Kick in the.....Belly!

It has been a very eventful few weeks!

First and foremost, on Saturday, June 29th at 12:12 am, we welcomed my niece, Catherine Elizabeth McLean, into the world. She weighed in at 9 lbs. 9 oz. and was 20.5 in.

I had the extreme pleasure of visiting her this weekend and meeting her on the very day she was born. I also got to spend a considerable amount of time with my sister-in-law as she recovered in the hospital. The entire experience was joyful, emotional and eye-opening.

Baby Cate, as we call her, is heart-meltingly precious.  I. am. in. love.

From her tiny toes to her round, hair-covered head - she is perfect and I adore her. I found myself just staring at her and inspecting her whole little body. I held her a lot and rocked her to sleep when she was fussing. I stroked the bottom of her little wrinkled feet and teared up at the thought of just how excited I am to be holding my own little boy in my arms in only a few short months.

I also learned a great deal about the not-so-glamorous recovery process for mom. My hat goes off to all of the women around the world who have experienced the pains of child birth. You're amazing! As a spectator this weekend, I was able to start mentally preparing myself a bit more about what to expect when it is my turn this fall.

Over the last few weeks, I have also had the chance to get to know my Little Man a bit more. His soccer player kicks have gotten stronger and more frequent. I've come to understand what I'm doing, eating (or more truthfully, not doing) that gets him moving. At the end of a long, hectic work day, as soon as I put my feet up on the couch, this little one starts his calisthenics. I fall asleep at night feeling his movements and wake up to them in the morning as well. I like to think of it as our special time together.

Hubs even got to feel him! We were on the couch and I could feel him starting to get going. I grabbed Hubs' hand and placed it squarely in the lower center of my belly and just then, his palm was greeted with a good strong kick! It was overwhelming to see my husband's face when he felt his son for the first time.

His movements and kicks are strong reminders of the privilege I have to be carrying a life inside me. I can't understand how anyone can experience this without feeling completely humbled. I am very fortunate and completely aware of how important and special this responsibility is.

This weekend, also solidified how ready I am to welcome this little one to the world. While I'll gladly wait for him to arrive perfectly baked this October, it feels good to have transitioned from a place of anxious nervousness to a place of certain anticipation.

I am going to be a mother. I am thrilled about it.

Bump Shots: A Photographic Tour of the Growing Baby Belly

For the first few months of my pregnancy, I was so exhausted that the idea of being photographed didn't even cross my mind. In retrospect, I'm part regretful and part grateful for the lapse, because I can't imagine how those photos would have turned out, given the state of my existence then.

But sometime early in my second trimester (16 weeks, to be exact) I realized I wanted to keep track of this pregnancy in some way. I started writing this blog again and even got on a weekly schedule of taking "bump shots" on Wednesday mornings.

Since then, Wednesday has officially been renamed "Bump Day" (as opposed to the more commonly used "Hump Day"), because it is the day that marks that another week has passed and we are one week closer to our little one's arrival.

If I'm being honest, I'm super jealous of some of the more expert bloggers I know, such as the beautiful author and expectant mother responsible for Our Love Nest . However, I've taken some lessons from her and others on the importance of tracking the progress of this experience through photos - even if they are only taken with my iPhone.

So here they are...baby bump shots from the first half of my pregnancy (starting at week 16)! Enjoy!

16 Weeks:

 

17 weeks (with a head cold):

 

 18 Weeks:

19 Weeks:

 

20 Weeks (photo credits: Hubs):

 

21 Weeks:

 

Stay tuned for more as the weeks go on!

"Boy oh boy! It's a boy!"

Two weeks ago, Hubs and I woke up with the kind of anticipation you only feel on Christmas morning or the day you leave for a great vacation! It was ultrasound day!

We accelerated our morning routine and walked into the doctor's office promptly at 8:15 am. Of course I made a morning appointment - the thought of sitting anxiously at work all day was close to sickening.

After only a brief wait (shocking), we were escorted through the doors, to the inner sanctum. We hadn't seen our little munchkin on the big screen since our 13 week appointment. We were eager to see how things were cooking in there and of course to find out the gender.

For the last few weeks, so many people would stare at me long and hard, and after a few moments, definitively declare, "I think it's a girl" or "it's definitely a boy". Or worse yet, "I hope it's a girl" or "I really want it to be a boy". Nothing will play with your emotions more than a conversation like that.

Note: A word to those who have friends who are expecting - try not to say things like that...it only makes it harder on mama, who is trying with all her might just to focus on having a healthy baby with no preference for gender.

{If I'm being honest, after a few of those conversations, something deep down inside me started to believe this little one was a girl. More specifically, a girly girl - just like mom!  I don't even think I realized that until I hopped up on the exam table.}

As I rolled up my gender neutral t-shirt and reclined onto the table, I started to picture all those movies that have exactly this scene. The tech squirted some gel onto my protruding belly and much to my shock it wasn't cold at all - they keep it heated (I feel like they always say, "this will be a little cold")! In fact, I even exclaimed to her, "hey that wasn't cold like it is in the movies!" {I'm certain she thought I was a nut job after that one}.

Moments later she was moving the probe across my tummy and we heard the tell-tale sound of a heartbeat. It was cruising along at 153 beats per minute.

We then proceeded to take a tour of the baby's body. We saw the spine (super cool), the head and the hemispheres of the brain (!), we saw a full tummy, a nose, a lip, little hands, kidneys, all four chambers of the heart and then finally two little chicken legs with cute toes! All the while, Hubs was asking "does this look good? is that measuring OK? does that look good?". Everything looked nice and healthy!

About 3/4 of the way through our "tour" - the tech announced "that's a boy!" and clear as day, the evidence was up on the screen.

I felt like a giant wave of emotion had crashed over me and swallowed me up. I looked at my husband and drank in his expression. We were going to have a son! 

I thought about cheering for him on the sidelines of the soccer field sporting a baseball cap. I thought of his first Yankees vs. Red Sox game and how hard he'd be cheering against his mother's team. I thought of his little hands in mine and his voice calling "Mama" as if I were a doctor, a superhero and a warm blanket all in one. I thought of how hard it would be to one day trust another woman with his heart. I thought of dancing with him at his wedding.

 

I'm going to be a boy mom.


 At the end of the ultrasound, the tech worked tirelessly to snap a 3-D photo of our little guy's sweet face. But in true Bassett Boy fashion, every time the probe came close to his face, he rolled over and lifted his little arm over his head, as if to say "no photos mom, I'm sleeping!". It was about the cutest thing I've ever seen! Here he is not wanting to be bothered with silly things like photos while he's catching a few Z's. My little man.

We celebrated for the rest of the day - first by telling our parents and sending them each an arrangement of blue flowers. We also brought "gender reveal cupcakes" into the office to share our news. And finally, the obligatory facebook post to make our announcement!

 

The balance of the weekend was spent celebrating in Nashville - it was Hubs' birthday the next day! What a great gift for my hubby! And to remember the weekend, we bought this little guy his first pair of boots to match his daddy's!

 We are blessed beyond what we could ever dream. God is so so good and it amazes me every day!


 

A Few Firsts

To say that I am experiencing growth right now would be an understatement. I’m certainly growing in many ways spiritually, emotionally; bust most of all, physically! We are on daily bump watch as my belly gets rounder and rounder. Now at nearly 18 weeks, there’s really no mistaking I’m pregnant – or at least I tell myself that in hopes that people aren’t staring at my gut, questioning if I should cut back on the calories. I’ve also really taken fondly to my new maternity clothes – they are designed to accentuate the baby bump and make it look oh so cute!

Tip for Mamas-2-B: Maternity Spanx are about the best invention since sliced bread! I bought two pairs from Motherhood Maternity and I wear them every time I’m in a dress or a skirt. Especially with the summer coming up, they are perfect for keeping you from sweating and chafing and they give a nice round smoothness to the belly! Just sayin’.

Last weekend, Hubs and I traveled up to Boston to celebrate our cousin's wedding with the whole family! It was great to show off my little belly and muse about what family gatherings will be like going forward with Little Ones present.

On that Sunday, my beautiful Mother-in-Law planned an absolutely perfect early "First" Mother's Day for me. We brunched at Hamersley's Bistro in Boston and then toured the Public Gardens. Baby B got his/her first t-shirt and also her/his first book - none other than the famous, Make Way for Ducklings. On our tour of the gardens, our first stop was the duckling statues in honor of this wonderful story. Of course we posed for a photo! We also took a ride on the swan boats. All of this was a completely new experience for me! I couldn't have imagined a more perfect Mother's Day!

This past Friday, May 10th, marked exactly one week from my next appointment - the 20 week ultrasound - during which we’ll find out if this Little Munchkin is a boy or a girl! I am literally bursting at the seams (in more way than one, depending on the outfit) to find out! I completely respect and admire everyone who waits until they deliver to find out the gender, and there was a time when I thought I would do that too, but now, with the level of uncertainty that surrounds pregnancy in general, I feel if there’s information I can get, I’m going to grab at it! Plus, let’s be honest, I’ve never really been one for delayed gratification.

To make matters all the more exciting, over the weekend I officially had another "first" - I felt my first flutters! I was woken up at 5:00 AM due to the extreme nasal congestion I was experiencing this week while fighting off a cold, and was overwhelmed by this strange and magical sensation! It truly feels like a cross between rippling water, popping popcorn and butterflies (the actual creatures with wings, not that nervous feeling you sometimes get). It’s pretty amazing to feel this little life inside of me and serves as a strong reminder not to take for granted the privilege of carrying it. I can’t wait to continue to feel this baby moving around inside me as the weeks go on. I am just constantly amazed at God’s goodness!

On Sunday, the "firsts" just kept coming - my first Mother's Day at home with my family. It was a special day that I met with a completely new perspective. At my home church, each year on Mother's Day they call first time pregnant moms, new moms, first time grandmothers and others to stand and be honored by receiving a potted flower. I love the tradition, but have never been able to stand up - until this year! It really meant the world to me to get my first flower.

At home, although every girl in our family gets a small gift on Mother's Day, I got actual Mother's Day cards and plenty of presents to wear as my belly continues to grow. All around it was a day I will never forget!

Stay tuned for our next big update: The Gender Reveal!!!!!

It Changes in a Heartbeat

On April 11th we went for our second doctor's appointment! They drew some blood, did an internal exam, and then we got to hear our sweet Little One’s heartbeat on the Doppler! How amazing!?!? At first you hear some static as the Doppler meets your belly, and all of a sudden, the nurse says, there it is…and you hear wob wob wob wob wob wob. It’s incredible! You want to shout and squeal and cry and celebrate at the same time. It’s amazing! Baby B's heartbeat registered at 160 BPMs this time!

Hubs and I had the best time in the exam room just giggling and trying to bask in the miracle of this experience.

On our way out, we made our next appointment for 5 weeks later. I will be just over 18 weeks along on May 17^th (the day before Hubs' birthday) and we’ll go in for our full ultrasound. What does that mean? We’ll get to see if our Little Lovebug is a boy or a girl! I. CANNOT. WAIT. Eeek! What a fun birthday present for Hubs!

As soon as I returned to the office, I promptly posted the little announcement I’d created a few weeks back to proclaim to Social Media Land that we are expecting. I was so excited to hit post and within moments, the “likes” and comments started flooding in.

I was so happy to finally enter my second trimester and feel more comfortable sharing with the world our great news. Not to mention the fact that the early pregnancy symptoms calmed down quite a bit. I started to pop out a little bit and even purchased my first real maternity clothes!

One Saturday, after having sat at work in agony with my jeans unbuttoned, my sweet husband offered to take me shopping! Typically, this shopping trip is one you would take with your mother, but since I live in Tennessee and she is in New Jersey, Hubs had to take one for the team. And he did a great job!

We got two pairs of jeans, a pretty sundress, several adorable tops, some “jeggings” and a pair of black dress pants to get me started. It’s amazing how much more comfortable they are, even when you just first start to show signs of a baby bump.

Several weeks later, as my body continued to change, my parents did eventually come to visit and I finally got to take a shopping trip with mom! We bought some adorable dresses and even took the whole group to start the baby registry at Buy Buy Baby! How much fun was that?!

It was hilarious to see Hubs wandering around with the scanner gun eagerly selecting our Baby's future belongings!

The Next Chapter

I know, you're right, it has been months since I put pen to paper (or in this case fingers to a keyboard) to share my musings.

First things first, Happy New Year! My my so much has happened since last we spoke! (In case you thought that nothing had happened, which may be why I wasn't writing...no, it was quite the contrary).

We spent Christmas in New Jersey and Colorado, Hubs began the arduous process of interviewing for summer internships in January, we took a few trips, we bought a new car, I celebrated my 27th birthday, and a whole new chapter of life began, which has more or less taken us up to this point. I know, a lot - and those are just the high notes.

Skipping right along to the good stuff (i.e. the new chapter stuff), Hubs and I found out on Saturday, February 9th that we are becoming parents! That's right - Baby Bassett #1 is on the way!

I can't begin to explain just how exciting that moment was. Together, Hubs and I waited out the three long minutes to see the results (and of course we were singing "Two Pink Lines" by Eric Church while we waited). There was a flood of emotion, and I'm pretty sure I squealed, as we saw those two lines and I wrapped my arms around my sweet husband and we just basked in God's goodness.

We spent the next few hours sharing our great news with a select few (parents, siblings and other close family). We even got my In-Laws on video chat if you can believe it!

A week later, over Valentine's Day, we skipped town and headed out to Colorado to meet up with my parents. We spent a lovely long weekend just relaxing in the mountains (and in my case, nursing exhaustion and a headache).

Here is a shot of us in Colorado right before we called Tim's grandma to tell her the news. As well as a picture of the baby blanket my parents bought for Baby B!

For the next few weeks, we anxiously awaited our first doctor's appointment, while I took the opportunity to nap on the couch as often as possible - making a baby is seriously exhausting!!! At our first appointment on March 4th, we practically had to pinch ourselves to believe it was really happening!

We got to see the first picture of our Little One and even saw the flicker of his/her heartbeat, which clocked in at a whopping 152 beats per minute! What a trip! The baby measured in at 1.36 cm and they established my estimated due date to be October 16th!

After the 8 week appointment, and all the great information we had received from the doctor, we started to feel more comfortable sharing the news with a few close friends. We even made a special trip up to New York to tell some of them in person, which was pretty special!

We also picked out some sweet new wheels for this Mama-2-B! Take a look at our new Infiniti JX - fresh off the line! I love it! It is such a great (stylish) mom car!

By the time my birthday rolled around on March 21st, most of our friends, family and co-workers were clued in. We have been humbled and touched by just how excited those around us are about our great news! And to top it all off, I didn't even feel guilty indulging in my delicious coconut cupcake to celebrate my 27 years!

Just shortly after my birthday, Hubs and I departed for our week-long Babymoon in Puerto Rico!
My nausea and exhaustion had subsided to the point where I could truly enjoy myself and it was so special to be away on what will probably be our last long vacation with just the two of us!

Given the busy week, we were surrounded by tons of families with little ones and got a glimpse of what our future would look like...in a great way! Here are a few teaser shots of the trip!

At the airport for our 5:20 AM flight.

Our enormous suite and the beautiful view at the St. Regis Bahia Beach.

Having fun in the sun.

Our last night, after dinner at BLT Steak at The Ritz-Carlton.

If you can't tell, we love vacationing together!

When we returned home, it was smooth sailing right into the start of my second trimester!

I know that was a lot to catch up on, but it has been a lot to digest for us! We are feeling particularly blessed these days and each day, we learn something new about the baby. The journey toward parenthood is already off to an amazing start!

Stay tuned for more updates!